just tell him i said nine months
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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