So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
