omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
