curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
