you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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