the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
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