i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
