she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
