I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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