Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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