im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
