I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
