you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
