i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
