are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
your room smells of hookers.
And success
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
