Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
