shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I supernannyed him into submission
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
