My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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