Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
