wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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