Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just forgot I was standing up.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
