ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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