I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
