So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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