Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
