cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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