I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Randomize
