I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
