Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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