hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
