called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
