Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
