wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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