plz talk dirty to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
