is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
