Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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