I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
