Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
