There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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