U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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