I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
