I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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