I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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