All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
