I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
