Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
