Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They have beer where we have blood.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
