he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
