What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
