Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The uberlube is also flammable
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
