i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
