I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Panties = found
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
