But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
