you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
