I love black thongs
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
