You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
