Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize